Broken

Posted by: Jessica 


First, go read Mark 6:30-44. The story of  Jesus feeding the 5,000 with only five loaves of bread and the two fish, just keep an open mind.

Before I went off to college a man I considered a grandfather said to me, “Jessica, if you follow Jesus, you will never get lost.” Those words rang in my ear as I began school, gained new friends and had new experiences. But I didn’t heed them. Beginning college and gaining that new freedom with guys and going out and things that were unhealthy for me led me just to get lost. But I knew who Jesus was and I felt that I had a calling on my life so I often felt convicted. I knew I was ordained by God to do something incredible but my insecurities were leading me to do other things. This tension led me to be broken. I often felt lonely, ashamed, confused, and insecure and through that struggle I was given no other choice but to rely on God and through my brokenness God rebuilt me and gave me my ordained purpose. Knowing I had a calling on my life I was able to use my past experiences to minister to and spiritually nourish many. 

So when the disciples questioned Jesus about how they would feed the thousands with the five loaves of bread, he reassured the disciples, he blessed the bread and then he broke it. This bread was chosen by God to do something incredible. It had a blessing, a calling on its life to nourish and feed the masses. I mean, after all, Jesus did bless it. So when the bread was broken, it was taken out of its original state. It’s original state of complacency, and lack of power; and it was transformed to be given the ability to be distributed to many, many people. The loaf of bread in its original state was not enough to feed the masses; it probably couldn’t even recognize its own power, for the disciples couldn’t even recognize what it could do. But broken down it was able to feed thousands. Relying on Jesus to break it, it was able to feed thousands.

When you’re feeling broken, small, or insignificant, you’re always enough for God. God has a calling on your life, and will use you and the experiences that you go through that cause you to feel broken to go out and spiritually nourish the masses. So, go in peace.