Life Update - summer parties, short shorts and love

Posted By: Ashley

This post is kind of all over the place. But it’s reflective of how I’ve been operating lately…organized chaos.

Life’s been busy. Everyone knows that when you have a baby, your life changes. Your time no longer belongs to yourself and you have to make decisions that are best for the entire family. When our son El was younger we would still attempt to go out but we would often have to cut the night short or plan around naps and feeding times. In the summer, I would sometimes have to sit in the house at get-togethers to shield the baby from the sun and pesky bugs (he has allergic reactions to mosquito bites) while all the other adults socialized outside. Even though we added a person to the mix by having a baby, it was still quite lonely at times being a new mother.

Not anymore.

Our baby is now a toddler and quite the little man. And as he grows our family is also evolving. El is a little social butterfly, just like his dad. So now, when we go to parties or events he seeks out people close to his size and runs and laughs and plays ball….without me. I still like to have him in my line of vision, but now I have the opportunity to socialize more with the grown folks. And it’s weird. I guess somewhere since giving birth and now, I forgot how to just relax and have fun. I’m always on mom mode and I get stressed out really easily.

That was a lot of background to get to the juicy news of what this post is supposed to be about. PAR-TAY. We’re hosting our first “get-together” of the summer. We’re firing up the grill, breaking out the chip and dip holder and stuffed everything into the spare bedroom rearranged the house for dancing.

I forgot to take pictures of our rearranged house before writing this post, but I’ll try to post some pics later today or tomorrow to report on the aftermath. Just to give you a visual…we have 3 HUGE speakers in the living room and we cleared everything out to the point where it looks like we just moved in.

Unfortunately, most of my friends are busy or out of town this weekend so it will mainly be my partners friends attending. Hence…a little anxiety. I can be shy/quiet around people I don’t know well. And I don’t really have the baby to hide behind anymore. I feel a little exposed. I wonder if other moms go through this weird transition as their baby gets older? 

Sidenote…I bought my first pair of short shorts since who knows…high school or college. I’m finally at a comfortable weight and bold enough to wear shorts tonight! I’ll try to take pictures.

I’ve also been in an emotional and reflective mood. Thinking a lot about life and goals and connecting with people. I’ve heard so many stories about tragedy and unexpected loss lately and I just cant help but ponder at the meaning and value of life. I think that’s why I haven’t been posting much lately…I feel like times are shifting and I need to…I don’t know…I need to get to know myself again. I need to reconnect with God. I’ve been reading a lot about love and trying to embrace the fact that in order to truly know what love feels like and be able to give love, I have to first know, trust and understand God. After that, prayerfully, everything will start to fall into place. 

By: Kevin "Wak" Williams (my favorite artist)

In the meantime, wish me luck tonight. 

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