Choosing to Love

Posted By: Ashley

The day we became "official"

I always thought that love was supposed to come easily and be carefree, generous and unconditional. I'm discovering however, that love is not always sunshine, rainbows and bunny rabbits. Its tough, its hard work and most of all its a decision that needs to be made daily (and sometimes by the hour, minute and second). I've been with my partner for about 2 and a half years. We are the definition of opposite. We were born and raised in two different countries, we have two different cultures, languages, family structures, opinions. He is a social butterfly and thrives in situations where there are a lot of people and a lot of activity. I'm a homebody and would much rather be at home in my PJs with a good movie and a cuppa tea.

But as Paula Abdul said in 1989, "Opposites Attract."

Who didn't want to be Paula Abdul when they were younger? Anyways...I'm learning so much about myself by being in a longterm and committed relationship. I'm learning what my values are, what my limits are, what I'm capable of, what I need and what I don't need. I'm learning how to "let go and let God" and how to trust. I'm learning that love is not just an emotion. Yes, it's nice to get that butterfly in the stomach feeling now and then and that overwhelming sense of adoration (I LOVE when I learn something new and interesting about my partner). But love is more than a feeling. It's a conscious decision. I'm realizing that I have to choose to be kind and considerate. I have to choose to listen and support. I have to choose when to speak up and be heard. I have to choose to be slow to anger and avoid conflict. Naturally, when you're dealing with another human being, those choices are not always the easiest to make. But I've been reminded recently about the Golden Rule.

No seriously, the REAL Golden Rule...

And I'm striving to put it back into practice, in all of my relationships. All I can do is try my best and be the very best person I can be. People say that it's impossible to change another person...perhaps. But it IS possible to demonstrate kindness and thoughtfulness and have it rub off on others. Peace and joy are contagious. And true peace can only come from God. As my sister mentioned in her beautiful post, Young Love, I believe that God should be at the foundation of any strong relationship. But it takes work and effort and a decision to build a relationship upon faith. I'm not 100% there yet but I have a renewed sense of purpose and excitement to get there.

How do you choose to love in your relationships?