Natural Beauty
Posted by Jessica
Hey :) So today I am supposed to be talking about natural beauty. I was thinking about putting another post about my hair, or how I wear "all-natural" makeup... but due to a certain situation that occurred the other night, I decided to talk about INNER natural beauty. You see, I've suffered from depression since high school. It runs in my family. And along with that comes anxiety, anger, sadness and even low self-esteem. Self-esteem is important for a young woman, and to me, having high self-esteem is about loving yourself for who you truly are.
I believe that I know who I am. But on those days in which I allow my depression to take hold of me, I don't see those positive attributes about myself. I only see negative.
I can take all day to get ready to go out, but if when I step out I feel like an ugly duckling, there's no doubt I look bad. People always used to tell me that I always looked mad, and quite frankly I agree with them. Its because I wasn't harnessing my inner natural beauty. I wasn't taking care of my emotions or my spirit. I was going and going and going and not checking in with myself. My stressors added up and I felt like I was about to collapse. But atleast I looked good, right?!
WRONG.
Inner beauty isn't about thinking you're cute, its about knowing you're amazing. And NATURAL beauty isn't about being afrocentric, its about appreciating what God gave to you, whether its your looks OR your talents.
I believe that when you FEEL good on the inside, beauty radiates on the outside. And that kind of beauty is truly natural. No need for makeup, or hair products with that one.
Today starts the day I kick depression where it hurts. I'm over letting it affect my relationships, but mostly I'm over letting it affect the way I see myself and the way it makes me act.
I used to write in my journal and it honestly made me feel much better. So, I vow to myself to that I'm going to start doing that again, but this time, I'm only putting POSITIVE thoughts in there :)
For everyone who suffers from depression or GAD, what did it take for you to realize that you can't let it over come you?
And what have you done to overcome your depression? Journaling, exercising, gardening?
wow, so inspiring! you truly are beautiful- inside and out!
ReplyDeletePowerful and moving. You've always been beautiful to me. <3
ReplyDeleteAshley, I've never met your sister...but just from reading this...I got a small slice of the wonderful person she must be...it takes a significant amount of courage and strength to engage in the type of self-reflection that I see here and to put that out for the world to absorb and learn from is even more profound! This is the first time I've read the blog and after reading this...and experiencing the connection I felt to your word's Jessica...I'm sure it will not be the last. Great job you guys!!!
ReplyDeleteI really love this blog...It takes a lot of courage to share honest feeligns about fairly abstract, personal, and somewhat controversial issues. You both are willing to put your feelings out there and it makes it easy to connect and say "yes...I think that too or WOW!...what an experience"
ReplyDeleteTwo things: I love the poem Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
This is just an excerpt but her words ring true...it is what inside that shines and makes you beautiful to the world.
I also love the book Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. She personified Depression and Loneliness and how they sneak up and invade your life...especially when your guard is down. Journaling helps to keep them at bay. I journal and find something creative when I am really feeling down. I practice an attitude of gratitude. Thanks for sharing.